“What is man that you are mindful of us, and the son of man that you care for us?” Psalm 8

Chaps’ Meditation Series

I wrote “Measuring Up to Murph” from Northern Iraq, Kirkuk, Memorial Day 2019. I could not know then that an American teammate would die there at the compound months later from rocket attack. The devotional meditation, sent out to fellow techs and operators at the time, reflects on the sacrifices of great Americans like Navy Seal Michael Murphy and heroes of Belleau Wood, Normandy, and Iwo Jima. It digs into how we might respond to the gravity of other’s great sacrifice and the ultimate sacrifice: Christ’s redeeming death for us all.

“Memorial Day. It’s time to remember the fallen. A perfect day to remember Michael Murphy, and all who gave their life for our freedom. So I decided to go for it. I walked into the Gym at our compound and noticed the white board. About 12 guys had posted their “Murph Times.” There were dudes who had done the 1st Mile, 300 Squats, 200 Pushups, 100 Pullups and 2nd Mile, in order, and under 40 minutes, while wearing 35lb vests! What was I, the Chaplain, doing in there?

I began on the tread mill. Hadn’t run much since last fall when I herniated a disc in my L5/S1. Since then, I’d been the elliptical Chaps. But today is for Murph and those who’ve gone before! Some time over the next 81 minutes it hit me. I don’t measure up to Murph. Or to the awesomely fit Operators around me. Nor to American heroes who’ve given the last full measure of devotion. And I don’t measure up to the Lord who gave Himself for me. Strangely the thought warmed me. It allowed a heavier respect for the SOF community to settle in. The gratitude for Murph and his brethren washed over me. And remembrance of my ever-conquering Lord also gripped me.

President Teddy Roosevelt used to look at the stars to gain perspective. He would look for “a certain spot of star-like light near the lower left corner of the Great Square of Pegasus. Then he’d say, ‘That is the Spiral Galaxy in Andromeda. It’s as large as our Milky Way. It is one of a hundred million galaxies. It consists of one hundred billion suns, each larger than our sun.” Then grinning he’d say, “Now I think we are small enough! We can go to bed.”

Doing the Murph today, in the Team gym, helped me to begin feeling sufficiently small. And then I consider the Minute Men of the Revolution, the sacrifices at Gettysburg, the Airborne 82nd and 101st who died on D-Day soaring into Occupied France. And of those who, at great cost, took the lead-ridden beaches of Normandy and Iwo Jima. The courage at Chosin, Khe Sahn, the invasion of Iraq, in the battles at Fallujah, Ramadi and COP Keating.

The effect of Murph’s courage, and the other 18, who gave their all in Operation Red Wings almost two decades ago continues to challenge us. Their sacrifice propels us to fight harder, dig deeper and be ready should our nation call us to the same. Jesus said, “There is no greater love than this, that a man would lay down his life for his friend.” For 248 years 1.1 million Americans have walked out this truth on the open seas and upon battlefields across the Globe.

On Memorial Day, Veterans Day, & every gift of a living, breathing day, I want to be spurred on to greater love and reaffirm, “I am willing to lay down my life for others, and for this country.” I also want to be okay not measuring up. Not that I won’t try. Paul says, “I discipline, beat, my body and keep it under control” for the sake of God’s work. He also says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I keep this in mind as I struggle onward. But I know when it comes to Murph, to the ones who died defending America, and most deeply, with Jesus Christ, who died to atone for our sins, and give eternal life, I won’t measure up. But I’ll be grateful. I’ll embrace Him. And with His strength, I will honor Him and the fallen, and stand ready whatever lies ahead.

It matters. Our Nation often experiences divisions that would tear us apart. And external pressures from peer nations and violent extremist organizations that might welcome our downfall. My all, your all, —embodied in a challenging workout dedicated to Murph— is reminder that someday our children and families may measure their own lives by ours. May we be worthy examples—men and women who point to the “Greatest Example”. (I Peter 2:21-25)

“Lord, we pause to remember this moment, the Americans who gave their lives for us. Where we fall short, we drive on, in your strength. Measuring ourselves, in part, by these heroes, and above all by You our Savior. Amen.”

By: LCDR Kristian Carlson, US Navy, Chaplain Corps, currently assigned to Navy Medicine units at Fort Sam Houston, TX

Kit Carlson has served alongside Marines, Sailors, Soldiers, & Special Forces, and has completed three deployments. In 2020, the Navy assigned him to Duke University’s Divinity School to earn a specialized Master’s Degree, ThM, in Pastoral Care, where he focused his studies on challenges to Active Duty personnel, Veterans and their families. His specific areas of interest include care for persons with Complex Trauma, strategies for healing from PTSD, Moral Injury, & mild TBI. A key personal mission of his is to leverage the strengths of faith-based Veteran Service Organizations as strategic partners to chaplains, the VA, and the DoD in their ongoing resiliency & suicide prevention initiatives. He is married to his Chilean sweetheart, Damaris. They have two young children, who are the delight of their hearts.